jonnynexus (jonnynexus) wrote,

BlockBuster: Episode II ("The Norfolk Spaceman")

Here's what might have been published in the next few days:

UFO Spotted Over Norfolk

Witnesses across Norfolk claimed last night to have seen an unidentified flying object. Mike Fallon, publican of the Horse and Crown at Upper Haddon, said: "I saw a set of lights flying across the night sky far faster than any plane I've ever seen or heard of; it made no noise, and turned on a six-pence to fly back across us.

Ministry of Defence spokesman said that the lights were probably caused by the effect of moonlight shining through marsh gas. A representative at the near-by USAF Upper Haddon airbase said that they had picked no objects up on radar but that they could not release the radar data due to reasons of "operational security".

Daily Mirror
Extra-Terrestrial Body Found In Norfolk

The Society has received news from reliable sources that the security forces retrieved the body of an alien humanoid from a river in Norfolk, shortly after the sighting in the area of an unidentified flying object.

The alien, possibly the pilot of the aforementioned UFO, was described as thin (to the point of being skeletal) with white skin and purple hair, and was apparently dressed in a form-fitting one-piece silver suit.

MOD spokesman have declined to offer any comment to the Journal.

The Journal of the Society of Hidden Truths

Glam Rock Bass Player Found Dead

Confusion exists over the fate of Starshine bassist Zakk Zacheria Zackson the Zack (a.k.a. Geoffrey Fossington) who apparently disappeared last night shortly before a gig at a USAF airbase in Norfolk.

His shocked and confused bandmates told Sound & Vibe that he: "nipped out for a smoke and never came back, we thought he'd had enough and walked off... then a bunch of police came into our room and said that he was dead!"

The Norfolk police were not able to give any further information about the case except to confirm the fact of Fossington's death. They said that reports of his being shot multiple times were dangerous and uninformed speculation.

In a comment to our reporter, his mother, Lady Sheila Fossington, said: "He was such a lovely boy... but he needed to eat more and get some sun. He was all skin and bones. I blame the drugs." Bandmates report that Fossington, famous for his purple-dyed hair, was wearing his trademark silver catsuit at the time he disappeared.

Sound & Vibe Magazine
Trespassers Arrested In Wildwood Forest

Local police have reported the arrest of a group of trespassers who were camping illegally in the nearby Wildwood Forest. The trespassers, who were staying in two VW Vans, and who were apparently dressed mostly in German Army army-surplus uniforms, were described by police as "peaceful hippies".

Upper Haddon Police Constable Joe Phillips said, "They might talk a good fight, but when I turned up with a few of my boys they were as meek as lambs!"

Phillips later added that he had received some assistance from the Elite River Unit.

Upper Haddon Parish Gazatte

What Actually Happened?

The episode started (after a background piece where they saw the "UFO") with the discovery of an alien body floating in the river (cue Blockbuster credits sequence). Post-credits, they discovered it was actually a thin and very human with a terrible dress sense, who was now dead due to the four bullet holes in his chest.

They had the bullets analysed and found out that they were 5.56mm rounds of the sort fired by an M16. Heading upstream from the site where the body was, they found (after pumping the local postmistress for information) Starshine's decorated Ford Transit van parked outside a pub, and after some questioning of first landlord and then band established that the dead body was one Geoffrey Fossington who'd disappeared shortly before they were due to play a gig at the base's Officer's Club.

They then went to the base, but got polite and friendly non-cooperation. The base seemed jumpy. They guessed (correctly) that perhaps they were testing some kind of secret advanced aircraft. They found a bloodstain and came up with a (correct) hypothesis that Fossington had been caught up in some kind of cross-fire while standing on the base's private wharf, and had toppled into the adjacent broad (which led to the river) but that still left one question:

Crossfire with whom?

The missing piece of the puzzle came when they heard about a shot man who'd been taken into Norfolk General hospital. He turned out to be from the People's Liberation Front (Norfolk Brigade) who were hiding out in Wildwood Forest after an attempted sabotage raid on the Upper Haddon base ran straight into trigger-happy guards who'd opened fire.

The Blockbuster team then arrested the PLF(NB) finding the remaining seven members to consist of three sheep-like followers and four gung-ho hard-liners (one of whom turned out to be from MI5 with the remaining three being Special Branch, with all four totally unaware of the others' similarly undercover status).

The team then returned to their base to be greated by three high-ranking Special Branch commanders and one gentleman who claimed to be "from the Home Office" who distributed copies of the Official Secrets Act all-round saying, "This never happened... okay?"
Tags: blockbuster, cop show, roleplaying

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